Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Dear Children,

Dear Children,

As we enter another New Year together, I am full of hope. Perhaps this will be the year that I'll be the mother I want to be?

Each year I want to be the kind of mother that produces something. Journals. Scrapbooks. Portfolios. Something to show you for how we've enjoyed this journey together. 

Well, we've met - so you already know I'm probably not going to be the kind of mother this year that remembers to write in your journal daily. Or weekly. Let's face it, some years not yearly.

I"m probably not going to be the kind of mother this year who keeps up with your scrapbooks. Or finishes the ones I started the year you were born that are in rubbermaid tubs in our basement. Even if I bought adorable lego paper to put the all the pictures of your creations on.

I'm probably not going to be the kind of mother this year that makes weekly entries into your homeschool year book. Or portfolio. Even though we did make those really cute covers the first week of school. In those super durable binders that were going to be great.

As much as I want to be, I'm probably not going to be the kind of mother this year who keeps up with your artwork and creations in any kind of order. Yes, I adore everything you've ever made for me. No, I probably can not find the salt clay statue of 2005.

Because kiddos, I'm the kind of mother who likes to sit on the couch and watch the two of you create a fabulous legoland. I'm the kind of mother who sits on the front porch to watch Xman throw at his net over and over again. I'm the kind of mother who takes the time to teach you to pancakes or muffins, or to use the new toaster, or how to make a muffin tin lunch. I'm a "thinker mommy" and often a "doer mommy" as you two like to say.

I'm the kind of mother who gets lost in loving you. Watching you grow. Learning from you. And let's be honest with each other, resting from watching you, learning from you and keep up with you both.

And so, I've learned - that means that you are all I have to show for how much I've loved and enjoyed you. There are no full journals for you to read. There are no scrapbooks for you to flip through. There are no school portfolios that chronicle our amazing journey. Perhaps if facebook exists, one day you can read the "timeline" of some of our adventures, but I'm thinking you nor I should count on that record keeping system.

What I hope there are - is memories.

Because my sweet darlings, I spend my days making memories with you. Those don't fit on journal pages, in scrapbooks or inside portfolios.

Those, my darlings are in my heart. And I hope they are in your hearts too!

This year, however, I will try to chronicle one memory a day here. One picture. One quote. One thought. One lesson I want you to remember.

Just in case the memories in our heart get fuzzy.

With love,

Mama (or if you are super tired, I'm still "Mommy")

2 comments:

  1. I love it! I feel bad sometimes that i dont have a scrapbook or journal for my daughter to look through one day. But like you, i would much rather be spending my time soaking up these moments with her.
    I love your words and your blog:)
    -Kay

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  2. How touching! I love your realistic approach. It's so easy to get caught up in what other people are doing and feel like we need to keep up on that perfect scrapbook. Good riddens! I'm sure your kids will love to see some of these moments when their memories get a little fuzzy. And I know they will benefit most from having a thinker and doer for a mommy. Thanks for sharing your beautiful letter!
    -Jessica

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