Saturday, August 18, 2012

84. Never be limited by what people think you should do simply because you are a boy or a girl.

Pumpkin has been dying to visit Cabbage Patch Kids Babyland General hospital for years. Technically, she's been - she just was too little to remember the adventure!

We took a field trip there late this spring.

Before we went, Bubbe, was torn - to get a doll? to not get a doll?

After talking with him, I figured out he wasn't sure if 8 year old boys were supposed to get dolls.

This is one of my HUGE soapbox issues with society - and has given me many heated run ins with moms over the years. When he was 2, I shouldn't have let him dress up in Cinderella dresses, high shoes and wear tiaras (as the little brother of a true Princess - he wanted to be "just like her" and explore what she played). When he was 3, I definitely shouldn't have let him cook in the toy kitchen and pretend to clean the house. When he was 5, kids made fun of him for his trendy pink polo shirt and that he used pink/purple crayons to color flowers for me at kindergarten.

This issue of what is "acceptable" for boys has bothered me throughout the years. Toys are designed to allow children to explore the adult world on their own level, and to learn. Why wouldn't I want my little boy to learn about cooking? Cleaning? Fathering?

I'm sure that a future wife of his definitely wants me to teach him some domestic skills!

Playing with dolls, toy kitchens or coloring with a pink crayon makes my rough and tumble, baseball playing boy no less of a boy.

Just like the Pumpkin is as girl as they get - though you will see her swinging on tire swings, building with legos, and enjoying a good book where potty humor and boys adventures are the main themes.

So, on this trip to the Cabbage Patch hospital I told Bubbe - if you see a doll that you think belongs to you - then get one. If not, then don't.

He fell in love with one he picked out of the patch - and named him after baseball players, Tristan Gehrig.

Over the last few months, Tristan has alternated with sleeping with him - and being lost for days whilst Bubbe is interested in other adventures.

As both of you grow older, I hope you will never be limited by what people think you should do because you are a girl or a boy, but rather guided by your heart and your interests.


  1. I agree wholeheartedly with you here My son, 2nd born, played way more with the toy kitchen than his older sister, and of COURSE he wanted to dress up when she did. It's all part of things. I think making an issue of it is when there are problems. Just let 'em be, I say, and don't read so much into innocence. :)

  2. I too agree completely. Toys, as you said, are a way for children to learn about the world around them. So why restrict that? My son plays with his sister's toys and she plays with his toys. That certainly doesn't mean their going to switch identities. It's amazing how people react so strongly about this issue. Adults need to stop projecting their adult views on innocent children.

  3. I am glad to find someone who agrees with me finally! Yeah! We have to domesticate our little men because one day they will be hubbies and daddies. It is our moral duty to make him the hubby a wife would want and appreciate. We owe them that so that he and his future wife can avoid strife that is caused by him not knowing how to do things around the house.

  4. My hubby had a doll. And he has become the most amazing father. Kids gravitate to him, because he is so much fun. My daughter loves to wear dresses, baby her dolls, play cars, and watch construction vehicles. I love well rounded littles!! Why should they be limited?? I completely agree with you on this level.

  5. We've been to babyland before too. We went in june! Most people don't know about it.