"God please let me experience the goodness of your glory."
I occasionally am in the right frame of mind to find God just a wee bit funny. A good sense of humor He has (that sounds yoda-sh?).
The Peanut has slept even less than usual the last two nights. She woke this morning (I use the term "woke" very loosely). She asked me what today is and I told her "Sunday."
"Mama - it's MY church day."
You see a few days a week we drop the big kids off at the church for a variety of things - youth functions, academic classes, etc. Sunday is "MY church day" - she knows it's the day that her class meets.
I did NOT feel like going today. The big kids always go so I knew there would be some sort of taxi duty needed. Peanut was insistent - "Mama - It's MY church day." Cue mom guilt, and quick mom shower and I hauled us to church.
By the time Xman and I made to the sanctuary, we had to be seated by the usher. And guess where the two available seats were? You got it - right up front. You know -where you feel like the preacher is talking to you? Directly.
He opened service today with a time of prayer - asking us to just be still for a moment and ask the Holy Spirit to be with us. I did. I repeated the same prayer I've been praying for a while now - I need to HEAR Him speak to me. I know I shouldn't. But I do. I need to hear words about healing. I'd like an email, snail mail, sky writing - something. I desperately prayed that He would speak to me.
Cue sense of humor - today's message was on being patient. WAITING.
Seriously? I pray for words of wisdom and there they are. Be patient. Wait. I heard them loud and clear (remember, I'm on row two today). He spoke to them to ME. I know it.
Because I asked. You have not, because you ask not.
It doesn't say in the Bible, you get what you want. (That's a good song though right, you can't always get what you want.....) It does say, you have not because you ask not.
The preacher talked today about the difficulty of God's timing. How His timing is not our timing. And really, that's the crux of my problem right? There's no date on my google calendar marked for when the madness will really be gone. No calendar alert for all the other big things I'm praying about. For me. And for you.
But He reminded me this morning- you don't move until you hear the Holy Spirit. Because, if you move first -it's your will. And we want His will. Or, some days, we want to want His will (just keeping it real).
When we wait on His timing, sometimes He forces us to become dependent upon Him.
The other nugget I almost missed this morning (anytime I can see the interpreter, I will confess, I have a hard time paying attention - she's down right fascinating) is this:
"The whole of Christian life is becoming what God already declared you to be."
While we wait, He's still moving. And if we aren't careful, we will be so busy waiting on this one thing that we will miss it. We will miss the journey.
Mama Warriors, as you prepare for another busy week (aren't they all lately?) - don't miss the journey. I know it's cliche for mama folks to say "it goes by so fast" but it does. And I know it's impossible to truly enjoy and soak up every moment, but I do think we should try. Give ourselves grace for the moments we don't, but our goal shouldn't be to survive the day while we wait for a season to pass. It should be to SAVOR the days before the season passes to quickly.
Don't be so busy doing right with your kids that you miss the journey of enjoying them. He's moving in the waiting. You just have to look.